The Baroom Brawl

Dear Marissa,
Are you getting to know Andre? Well, here’s more………………
THE BAROOM BRAWL

3rd Avenue, N.Y.C.,,1958

Andre & I had an appointment with HIS friend, Jan at an Irish Saloon, where we were NOT
Known. Can’t imagine why she had chosen this filthy dive??

Jan was late, so, while waiting, I went to play the slot machine or whatever it’s called?
( the one where you have to put the balls in the hole.).

A grubby, young tough approached me;………..”let’s make a bet, $5 if you win and a
KISS for me if I win, darling?”

I, of course , won! As I usually do.

“OKAY” say I, “my $5 please! “NO, no says he, I’d rather kiss you, darling, $5 worth
Of kisses!
At this point, I need Andre- he is sitting there quietly reading a newspaper
“DO SOMETHING” I say.

The Irish thugs start gathering around us in a very threatening manner.
Andre stands up, his fists ready, (as they teach you in English schools)

The toughs gather closer, while I cower in a dark corner.
They move in for battle…………………………………The “would be kisser” punches
Andre in the nose, and I think this the END, but no……………………………………..
Andre gets up and kicks him in the balls…….the kisser falls down…….the thugs are
Now surprised & a wee bit angry…….so…… ALL of them attack Andre, who……
Falls on top of the kisser, with the thugs on top of him.

The kisser now has 2(two) broken legs & 1(one) arm, which is awry in the most
Extrinsic fashion.

Police & ambulancecome to the rescue

We DO go & visit him in the hospital. (the winner can afford this act of kindness).
“What’s fair is fair” says kisser. They shake hands & become sortof friends.

I kiss him on the cheek, he smiles gratefully.

Love, Iris

P.S. The next episode is of attempted rape & murders (plural)

Andre and the bomb

Andre, when at Public School (prep) , Ashdown House, in194?, a German bomb fell
In a field on school property. Doing no damage. When it cooled off, all the little boys
From the school ran hither & dither to collect the pieces of the bomb.
Andre got the best & biggest one, with the name of the maker & the date.
Can you imagine the great difficulty of a 8 year boy to carry & hold this bomb??
I don’t know how he managed, but he did.?

Andre loved this bomb more than life itself and it was always with him wherever &
Whenever he traveled.
Although he lost most of his possessions here & there, he never, but never lost the
Bomb. From London, New York, L.A. , Switzerland, Rome, Mexico & who knows
Where else. It’s with him……..
One would think he won the war, just by owning it. (the bomb, I mean)!

In 198?, Andre had a stroke & thought he was due to see his Maker. So Alex, his son &
Heir rushed to Poland to see him off.
And guess what???
Andre gave Alex the bomb!!
And guess what??
Alex put this precious possession in storage, forgot to pay the paltry sum , and in 2
Months, LOST IT!!

Not quite………..THE END………. Of the story.

Love to all, Iris

To My Dear Friends

Hello to my dear Friends, who are desperately trying to get to this Blog and cannot manage to get it. Here are some instructions for doing so. What will appear first ot my blog page will be my latest post. And if you want to read some of my old ones you should just look BELOW OR RIGHT where it's written Blog Archive. Underneath you will find the year 2010 and April and my published posts(most of them stories from my book) And if you want to post a comment press on Comments low right (it is an option after each post). I hope I was helpful.
Enjoy reading my stories and posts!

Love Iris Gusel!

THE ONE (1) LEFT SHOE

There is an old lady who sells shoes on the street. They are very cheap and occasionally
Has some good shoes.
She, of course, displays only one shoe out of the sacks of shoes.
I found one I liked and surprise, it was just my size (41), a left shoe. Nice and comfy,
Perfect for walking the 14th century cobbled streets of burgas!
2 young girls arrive-just looking. One speaks English.
But that doesn’t seem to matter. (as you will see)
“I’ll take this one “, I say. She takes it, then promptly loses it amongst the mountain
Of shoes. She then finds the “right “ shoe, but can’t find the “left”
The girls are watching in wonder as the little old lady tries to sell me ONE (1) shoe
“only 3 leva (2 Euros). There is no mistaking it , as she has the ONE shoe ready in
A plastic bag.
“Ne, ne” I say, I need 2 shoes, one for the left foot & one for the right!!!!!!! “as you
Can see I have 2 (two) feet.
After 20 minutes of fumbling around in her sacks, she finds the left & the right-size (41)
It says on the sole.??? I gave her the 5 leva, feeling quite happy; good shoes for the
Kingly price of 5 leva!!!
The girls laugh and depart , saying; “this is Bulgaria”!!!!
In all that fuss I had neglected to try on the shoes.
At home at last, and I try them and guess what??? They are far too small………….
Will tell you about the rest of the day later, I’m now 2 (too tired)

NON FICTION